The Mike Diamond "smell good" plumbers radio commercial in Southern California begins with a call from a potential customer: "Why won't a plumber tell me the cost of unplugging my sewer over the phone?" His answer: "$99." Well, if he could unplug it over the phone it shouldn't cost $99.
"We fought at Gettysburg," the two Civil War veterans told a group of their friends at the 50th reunion of the battle. Yes, but were they on the same side or opposite sides?
The video of the accident was so gruesome that the newsroom referred it to the TV station manager to see if they should show it or not. After a careful look, he replied: "Screen it!" Did he mean that they should run it as it is or that they should delete the most offensive parts?