When people at gatherings and parties etc., ask how many kids I have, I like to reply that I have three beautiful daughters and one really ugly one. I then elaborate that she truly is minging, I mean fucking horrendous-looking, like I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy. An embarrassment really, especially when compared to the other three.
I then go on to say, without pausing and still deadpan, how she changed my whole opinion on abortion, and that, in the animal kingdom, she would have been abandoned or even eaten.
It really is a conversation stopper if you don't want to talk to the nosy cunt who asked in the first place.