When people at gatherings and parties etc., ask how my wife and I met, I like to go into this elaborate lie where I say she was a bridesmaid at my original wedding, and my girlfriend's best friend at the time, and that we hooked up on the actual wedding day.
I then go on to say how I went through with the original wedding but faked appendicitis that night; instead of going to the hospital, I spent my honeymoon night with her while my wife thought I was in the ER. We carried this deceit on for about nine months, and only came clean after my wife gave birth to a really ugly baby, which forced my hand.
It really is a conversation stopper if you don't want to talk to the nosy cunt who asked in the first place.
