Trump Unhappy With His Lawyers’ Impeachment Performance

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 10 February 2021

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Order in the court!

It seems like The Apprentice performer is not too happy with the performance of his conviction defense lawyers. Stifled because he can’t tweet about his displeasure, of what an amateurish, unprofessional, bungling team he has defending him, Donald Trumps regretting not having stuck with Rudy Giuliani.

“At least Giuliani could talk. These two clowns are putting me to sleep, and I don’t sleep much. Their hair is wrong; too dry and frizzy. And the suits they‘re wearing? Either wear black or navy blue, but not that light blue crap. Biden dresses like a prince, but those two look like census takers or morticians.”

What difference does it make? The Senators will stick with you no matter what your lawyers do, say, or wear. The Senators will never vote to convict you, at least not 17 of them. Maybe 10 or 11, but never 17. But then there's always that number 12 surprise. That guy looks like a maybe.

But it won’t be because of the lawyers. The film of the riot was damaging. Your motivational speeches. Your propaganda, saying the election was stolen. That they had to take their country back, brainwashing what little brain they have, sudsing it up with lies. All that makes it a slam dunk for your conviction!

“Would you shut the f- -k up?”

I can’t shut up. I’m your conscience. Forget the lawyer's frizzy hair. The Senators wouldn’t vote to convict you even if you had O.J. Simpson, Louie Gohmert, or Vladimir Putin defending you.

“Maybe I can still get Giuliani…”

I don't know about Giuliani. $20,000 a day? He might want payment upfront. But those Senators will never vote to convict. At least, not 17 of them.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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