Latest 2021 News in Poetic Form, eases the pain, relaxes the brain, now we can all jump on the Gravy Train!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 3 January 2021

image for Latest 2021 News in Poetic Form, eases the pain, relaxes the brain, now we can all jump on the Gravy Train!
Tick-Tock Hickory Dickory Dock, a blonde rat run up this clock!


Let's start 2021 with Andrew Marr
On BBC he raised the bar
BOJO lowered it once again
Lies, untruths, always hiding the pain

We carry on with Mr. Pence
Fraud, corruption, Trump-ism, dense
Biden, observes a Republican farce
Sits on his throne wiping his arse

Now what about Covid 19?
Pandemic killer, dirty, and mean
A vaccine is our only hope
For conspiracy rebels, their hope is dope

Manchester United on the rise
Sheffield United, a tragic demise
Pogba out, Haaland in
Liverpool's reign is in the bin!

Sir Lewis Hamilton take a bow
No Sword of Damocles, wow!
BLM everywhere to be seen
Kneel down, be proud, and tell the Queen

Snow, ice, ski slopes empty
Brit 'Apres Ski' skiers please stay in Blighty
EU mountains don't need your dosh
Brexiteers melt and turn to slosh

Spain, sunshine, booze and paella
Made in Italy, lovely Nutella
UK supermarket shelves empty and dead
Sugar-loaded Hovis, Brits daily bread

The Mail, Sun, Star, and Express
Spread their tabloid bullshit in excess
Worshippers read and digest their lies
Better believe in Jesus, or pies in the skies

2021, oh what a great year ahead!
OAP's, the sick and aged lying in bed
Bless our nurses, doctors and teams
Hope is eternal, where's the vaccines?

"No news is good news," Murdoch once said
"So I'll give you plenty until I'm dead!"
"I manipulate billions with my bullshit"
"Who cares? In my Ludwig Castle I sit!"

We end this news bulletin with a rhyme
Wiser, cleverer, like Old Father Time
He sits and observes our constant fear
While this poet wishes you all a 'Happy New Year!'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more