New Year's Eve Parody of "If I Loved You"

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 1 January 2021

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Lately, the Rodgers and Hammerstein ballad, "If I Loved You" has been going through my head, leading to this parody. Don't worry Sandra, it is just a parody!


IF YOU LOVE ME

TIME AND AGAIN I WOULD TRY TO SAY

I DON'T LOVE YOU AT ALL


IF YOU LOVE ME

OH, HOW I'D TELL YOU TO GO AWAY

BUT I DON'T HAVE THE GALL


LONGING TO TELL YOU

THAT I'M NOT YOUR GUY

I'D SOMETIMES WISH THAT

GOD WOULD MAKE YOU DIE!


YOU WON'T LEAVE ME

OH, IF YOU'D GO, LIFE WOULD BE SO SWEET

NEVER, NEVER A TWEET

THAT YOU LOVE ME

PLEASE DON'T LOVE ME!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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