Party Announces New Regulations to Protect Free Speech

Funny story written by Party Secretariat

Saturday, 21 November 2020

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Common-sense reforms promote Truth, Unity, and Accountability

--Common-sense reforms promote Truth, Unity, and Accountability


WASHINGTON, DC – The Party today announced that Richard Stengel has been appointed Team Lead for the United States Agency for Global Media. In his new role, Mr. Stengel will assist the Party and President Biden in implementing new, common-sense reforms to combat the spread of disinformation, including speech that undermines the Party’s core first amendment values.

“As a government official traveling around the world, championing the virtues of free speech, I came to see how our first amendment standard is an outlier,” said Mr. Stengel. “All speech is not equal. And where Truth cannot drive out lies, we must add new guardrails,” he added.

The Party’s new guidelines will supersede outmoded precedent established by the Supreme Court in Brandenberg v. Ohio. In Brandenberg, the Supreme Court applied long-discredited capitalist principles once fashionable among white males in 17th century England to protect racist speech.

Implementation will begin immediately. Mr. Stengel will work with Party stakeholders, including media organizations, social media platforms, and the Department of Justice to ensure that the reforms and related accountability standards are clearly communicated and enforced.

Party stakeholders are cautioned to remain vigilant for partisan elements opposed to the activities of Mr. Stengel and the Party Secretariat for Global Media.

Mr. Stengel has considerable experience championing Truth and combatting dangerous disinformation. He previously served as the State Department’s undersecretary for public diplomacy and public affairs, where he led the State Department’s counter-disinformation efforts. His work led to an executive order establishing the Global Engagement Center, the one entity in government tasked with countering global disinformation.

Party members and other interested members of the public are encouraged to familiarize themselves with Mr. Stengel’s October 29, 2019 statement available in the Washington Post. The statement is available through an Approved Information Source and represents Approved Doctrine.


Immediate implementation of these guidelines is authorized under previously approved directives adopted in response to the COVID-19 emergency. Further information on these guidelines will be communicated as circumstances dictate.

All affected persons, including blog moderators, will recognize that the above information is intended as satire to foster discussion on important issues relating to the role of the government and the media, the rule of law, and free speech.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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