Sussex Royal Brand Is A No, No

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 23 February 2020

image for Sussex Royal Brand Is A No, No
"Yes, I know how to make change on a cash register."

“While there is not any jurisdiction by the Monarchy or Cabinet Office over the use of the word Royal overseas…” It sounds like someone is whistling in the dark. However, Harry and Meghan won’t be using Royal in their Sussex brand name.

Since the Queen took away Royal from the Sussex brand, would the Not-Royal Sussex Brand name be okay? If you run through the alphabet, several words can rhyme and replace Royal. Spoil immediately comes to mind along with Loyal. Loyal is better.

Sussex Loyal Brand sounds almost as good as Royal, with a touch of patronage and bended knee of respect. The perfect product name for the Loyal Sussex Depends. Never miss a drop…

Meghan Markle is said to have told friends that the Queen doesn't own the word 'royal', and there is nothing the Queen can do to stop their using it.

Mustn’t get into a snit with the Queen over the word Royal. It will spoil the relationship.

When the Sussexes pick a brand name, there will be a lot of other established competition out there. The Sussex brand will be competing with the Martha Stewart’s giant and the tiny Goop brand of Gwyneth Paltrow.

Victoria Beckham has a cosmetic line and a sleek fashion line. But the master of all brands is Ralph Lauren with fashion for men, women, children, teddy bears and dogs, as well as the extensive home collection, books, and restaurants. Kitty cats are waiting to be recognized by Ralph Lauren, and are steaming mad at being ignored. Meow!

Donald Trump sells things like his MAGA hats, and used to sell steaks, vodka, suits, ties, and shoes, and he also licensed his name for buildings. However, due to his current lack of popularity, some buildings are removing the Trump name. And, while he once had over nineteen products with his name, that number has dwindled to one.

Will the Sussexes have a brick and mortar shop on Knightsbridge, or will they enlist the Amazon giant to deliver products from a warehouse?

And will the Sussex brand now sell tuxedos instead of suits?

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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