Martha Stewart opens Hamptons boutique hotel for dogs

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

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image for Martha Stewart opens Hamptons boutique hotel for dogs
A number of extracurricular concierge services also on the menu

East Hampton, Long Island - It's an exclusive Hamptons niche market worth up to $50m a year according to Martha Stewart whose Lily Pond Lane, East Hampton cottage was once described by neighboring oil tycoons as a scruffy kennel in dire need of fumigation.

But don't let that put you off.

For five hundred bucks a night your already pampered pooch can party like there's no tomorrow chez Stewart - in its own presidential suite at Martha's Wag Club & Beach Motel.

Located close to her Lily Pond Lane home the canine retreat will have its own beauty spa, pet photography studio, walking and outdoor sports services plus 24/7 webcam security to help busy owners keep in touch.

Twenty sumptuous suites are all equipped with their own custom-made hot tub and splash pool, post-dip blow dry studio and doggie 'mini bar'.

And a bespoke and most discreet concierge service offering a number of extracurricular activities - such as canine companionship with pooches of the opposite sex.

Think 'x-rated Lady And The Tramp' and you won't be far off what's on offer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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