Wile E Monkey vs The Billingsgate Runner: Part I

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 31 December 2019

image for Wile E Monkey vs The Billingsgate Runner: Part I
Wile E Monkey Sings The Blues

BILLINGSGATE POST: This is right out of Looney Tunes. So hold on and enjoy the ride. And make way on the road, for The Billingsgate Runner is a bird built to scoot. Sadly, whether his demise comes from boulders or ACME Anvils, Wile E Monkey never wins in his epic confrontations with The Billingsgate Runner.

The Sonoran Desert, where Kangaroo rats and banded Gila monsters seek shelter from the sun beneath the outstretched arms of Saguaro cacti, dazzlingly white blossoms sway like sea anemones in the gentle current. The night sky’s yellow, green and red traces mimic the Aurora Borealis in the Arctic Circle.

In the epic series of battles between the original Road Runner and his adversary, Wile E Coyote, the Sonoran Desert provides the playing field for these two arch enemies. However, this is not where today’s self-demolition of Wile E Monkey takes place.

“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

No. Perhaps historians will some day write about this as if the ACME Anvils that unerringly sought out Wile E Coyote were metaphors of the misdirected attacks Monkey Woods aimed at Dr. Billingsgate.

MEEP MEEP!

Slim: “Wow! You gotta love them metaphors.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Epistemologically speaking, that is.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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