Man And His Friends Used To Play Strange Game At School

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 5 August 2018

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"Where is it?" "What?"

A man has revealed how, more than 40 years ago, he and his friends at school used to play a strange game that has been described as nonsensical, insane, crazy, barmy, madcap, stupid, and even idiotic.

Moys Kenwood, 55, attended Sydney Smith High School in Hull between 1976 and 1979, and had several friends whose state-of-mind was 'questionable' at best. Those boys had developed a strange game where one of the boys would ask another boy a question, hoping to get the quizzical response "What?", whereby the first boy would say "Your hat!"

This was the game in its entirety.

Initially, a conversation may have taken place such as this:

Boy A: "Where is it?"
Boy B: "What?"
Boy A: "Your hat!"
Boys C, D, E, F, and G: "Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

On the surface, the game seems worthless, pointless, ridiculous, and one which might be played by patients at a mental institution. It is. However, as time went by, the boys, knowing their friends were aware of their prank and unlikely to say "What?" to their questions, were forced to invent newer, different, and more vague questions, questions that might mislead the 'victim' into thinking a genuine enquiry was being made.

For example, Boy A is searching through his bag, looking a little confused, and says to Boy B:

"What the fuck have you done with it?"

Unsuspecting Boy B says:

"What?"

to which Boy A, suddenly released from his 'confusion', blurts:

"Your hat!"

As if by magic, boys would appear from nowhere, and everywhere, exploding with laughter, as if they had just been earwitnesses to the funniest joke in the world, whilst the 'victim' would be crushed under a tonne of embarrassment, vowing to 'get his own back' some time later.

As the friends became tired of their game from time-to-time, they would seek out new opportunities to collectively 'get one over' on someone. Teachers were fair game, although the punchline was left unsaid, the friends all hearing it inside their heads, instead of audibly. When this happened, there was a mad scramble to get to a place out of earshot of the teacher, where laughter would then erupt. Shopkeepers - especially at the sweet shop - passers-by, the school dinner ladies and traffic warden, bus drivers, even policemen, were also targets, as were girls.

The game became an artform.

Boy A: (mumbling incomprehensibly) "Mm hmm seen it?"
Girl A: "What?"
Boy A: (no longer mumbling) "Your hat!"


Boy B: "Sir, can I ask you something, Sir?"
Teacher: "Yes."
Boy B: "No, I mean, can I ask you something, Sir."
Teacher: "I said 'yes', didn't I?"
Boy B: "But, Sir, is it ... er...?"
Teacher: "What?"
(Boys walk in all directions rapidly.)


Boy C: "Miss, do we have to do that homework and give you it back tomorrow or can we do it at the weekend and give you it back on Monday before next Tuesday and Wednesday history and geography Mr Jordan said like that Stanley Unwin confabulation, didn't he, Miss?"
Teacher: (incredulous) "What?"
Boys all look at each other, and cover their mouths with both hands.


Boy D: "Excuse me, Cuntstubble, where's the duckpond, please?"
Policeman: "What?"

Various boys were involved. Shane Nicklin, Paul Read, Lee Hartley, Derek Bell, John Hebblewhite, Mark Hebblewhite, Stephen Cole and David Dosdale were some of them. Moys Kenwood was another.

Nobody is investigating.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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