Yes fellow Nutters the heatwave currently crisping up our wrinkles has caused quite a problem, Volga Olga, our resident dancer and, 85 year-old Russian nymphomaniac, was "nearly biting the dried, burnt grass" as she suffered two bouts of dehydration after dancing into the early morning hours and disappearing in the broom cupboard with Tiger Woods after she divulged her parched, saggy boobs, to him.
He was quite happy to be banged up with Volga Olga after his disaster at The Open where his golf balls let him down once again, but the others still function quite well!
Luckily, our resident pissed poet laureate, Sir Francis Charlton, after reciting this fabulous ditty written by the one and only Jaggedone in 5 seconds, gave her mouth to mouth! She had 6 orgasms and recovered just in time to perform her infamous, shrunken banana leaf dance, in front of several parched bi-sexual penguins who just flew in for a tipple or two!
The Nutters Beach Club refuses to mention Brexit, Trump, Putin or BOJO, but it just did! So, it's time for more fun and games with Tiger doing a live "hole in one" from the rear, duet performance, to entertain the none-golfing fraternity gathered to witness a real 'super star' the one and only Volga Olga!
Hasta la vista los locos mundiales!
Here Jaggedone's fantastic, open-cult ditty:
Old golfers never die,
they just lose their balls
Swinging high and low
Beyond Niagara Falls
Tigers will come and go
But Volga Olga
Always steals the show!