Cheated & Mistreated

Funny story written by walter

Thursday, 22 June 2017

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The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Animals enter life fully prepared, with all necessary characteristics and instincts. In other words, they work like a PCM, punched card machine. All expertly and reliably wired up. But, alas, Homo sapiens need to acquire their workable applications externally. Of course, man's mind is not that empty. It's got a hard disk containing many old files, archives, gradually saved throughout centuries, but it cannot be accessed consciously. Additionally, in his DNA, there are many tiny processers which function round the clock. But still man is not fully prepared for his turbulent life.

Some Homo sapiens were lucky to be born in an area called fertile valleys of Egypt and Mesopotamia. People who lived there had everything they needed particularly unpolluted air and clear sky. There was no shortage of food and water.

When they were not busy, they watched the sun and the moon rise and set. At that time, the stars were much brighter than today, particularly the brilliant Sirius and the three-member Orion. Of course, they could not understand what these entities were.

Sometimes, they lowered their gaze and saw an eagle gliding across the azure blue sky. They liked the sight very much and desired to fly like an eagle. It happened that someone with a trace of art picked up a stick and drew the sketch of a bearded man with two wings and a bird tail on a piece of sediment. He left in the sun till dried up. Perhaps a child picked it up and took home. Since it was an art work and the image resembled the king, someone took it to the king who liked it very much, and soon everybody learned that the sun-god had sent the king a message.

Naturally, man continued watching his environment. He later imitated the birds of songs. Gradually enriched the tunes with words, and thus introduced music and poetry. Among these Homos, additionally, there lived individuals with power of imagination. In fact, they were fiction writers of their time. Some of them were very articulate; they were invited by powerful families to entertain them and make their long nights short by listening to their stories. At that time, due to lack of paper, scribes used appropriate chisels to carve these fantastic stories on semi-dry clay tablets, in alphabet called hieroglyph and cuneiform, gradually discovered by archeologists and deciphered.

Names of these rich patrons are innumerable such as Sargon of Akkad, conceived in secret, set in a basket, cast into the river, and carried to Akki, not Egypt. c. 2340 - c. 2284 BC; Hammurabi, the sixth king of the First Babylonian Dynasty, reigning from 1792 BC to 1750 BC. Pharaohs of Egypt, c. 3100 BC etc. Museums are brimming with numerous articles to back the existence of these people. For instance Louvre of Paris where it keeps Hammurabi's stele, 282-300 law articles such as: If a man wishes to separate from his wife who has borne him no children, he shall give her the amount of her purchase money and the dowry which she brought from her father's house, and let her go.

Among these stories one can find the creation story which happed in about 2400 BCE. We are told that Geb, the sky/earth god, and Nut, the earth/sky goddess hitched. There came four children: Osiris (male), Isis (fem), Set (male) and Nepthys (fem). Osiris, the oldest son, became the king of Egypt, as well as the netherworld. Later Osiris married his sister Isis. But younger brother Set, being jealous, killed Osiris and cut his body into pieces and scattered them all over Egypt. Isis, the wife, collected them all. But it just happened that his penis was missing, swallowed by a fish. Isis retrieved it, too. Isis, the wife, reassembled the parts including his penis, and breathed life into the body of Osiris. Thus Osiris was resurrected. Now, Horus, the sun-god was born, but the uncle, Set, opposed him and tried to topple him. As a matter of fact, the fiction writer says that every day Horus the sun-god rises and uses his spear and brings Set down, but at the end of day Set overcomes Horus and dark spreads out. However, the sun watchers kept watching the sun until one day, 22 September, the sun did not move. Same sight happened on 23 and 24 September. The fiction writer says Horus was presumed dead. But on 25 September, the Horus opened his eyes and moved and kept rising.

Of course, no one furnished any explanation as to this temporary death of Horus. But, today we are convinced that those people had no knowledge of the movement of the earth around the sun and particularly the tilted axel of the earth westward. This obstruction that happens every year is explained under winter solstice; something like eclipses. In other words, everything went on according to the master plan: universe governed by natural laws, that is, the aggregate powers and properties of all things including the gravity of the earth and the flow of the Nile River.

We have been taught that atom is not a solid lump of matter; it consists of empty space; hundreds of millions of atoms put side by side would measure less than an inch. How can empty space produce planet earth and all its solid contents? How can baseless fictitious stories remain suspended in the air with tons of heavy loads on it?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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