Newborns: "We Hate Our Boring Little Hats"

Written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 9 October 2016

image for Newborns: "We Hate Our Boring Little Hats"
At least this one has some color and style!

Hats off to newborns the world over who are staging protests (crying marathons in numerous hospital nurseries) this week against those ugly, tight, style-free hats pulled onto their heads shortly after birth.

A Spoof reporter who talks baby talk interviewed a group of babies in a New York hospital to find out more about what's behind this hate-the-hat movement.

"Those hats are just plain ugly," fumed one little baby. "Adults wouldn't be caught dead in them." Another baby agreed, adding, "And they're all the same. No individual style at all. Designed by folks with no pizzaz, imagination or artistry. Phooey!"

A shy little baby boy spoke up, saying that he was a great fan of the British Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, known for their outrageous and unique hats. The baby did, however, caution about hat choices of Royalty in general. He told the reporter of what Frederick the Great once said: "A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in."

A big bruiser baby girl reminded the reporter of Martha Sliter's comment: "A hat is the difference in being dressed and being dressed up; it's the difference between looking adequate and looking your best. A hat is to be stylish in, to glow under, to flirt beneath, to make all others seem jealous over." The baby nodded her head from side to side and added, "Sadly, the newborn caps of today just don't cut it, not at all."

So that's the skinny......................

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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