Five Signs You've Been Watching Too Much Crime TV

Written by Al N.

Wednesday, 14 September 2016


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Hiring off-duty policemen to guard your house is definitely a clue you are too paranoid.

With so much crime TV on today, such as the Escape Channel and Investigation Discovery, whole networks are devoted to crime stories, with tales of homicide, rape, and terror everywhere on the dial. Therefore, it's good to know the signs that you've been watching too much TV and should probably slack off a bit.

1. You cancel all the life insurance on yourself because you think having it would just be an incentive to kill you.

2. You start calling your spouse a "perpetrator" and your children "suspects."

3. You start calling any cell phone not a smartphone a "burn phone."

4. You go into debt installing security devices on your house and buying guard dogs.

5. You have eight distant relatives exhumed to test if they were poisoned or not.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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