Madonna on Obama

Funny story written by Mike Peril

Monday, 13 June 2016


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Madonna upon meeting the President

Today we are here with none other than Madonna Ciccone, also known as just "Madonna". Madonna is a superstar by any standard, having scores of top 40 hits spanning over decades, with crossover success in both films and publications. Madonna has been able to make over her image time and time again with great success, although lately Madonna seems stuck in the 80s. We reached out to Madonna to get her impressions of Barack Obama, President of the United States, who Madonna finally met recently as a guest star on The Jimmy Kimmel Show.

So, first, Madonna, it is a true honor to sit down with you. And it must have been an honor to meet the President.

Thank you. Yes, we rubbed shoulders, had great energy. I felt like Marilyn Monroe meeting JFK. It was a special moment both for us.

Oh, for both of you? How so?

As soon as I looked into his eyes, I just had to say it: "Mister President, we've only got 4 minutes to change the world!"

And what a world that would be. How did President Obama react?

He was tempted and said, "Crazy for you, but borderline!" as if correcting my advance, but I flirted back, "Papa don't preach! Strike a pose!"

And did that have the desired effect?

Like a virgin.

So, Madonna, you are the queen of self-promotion. Are you leading us to believe that perhaps your meeting with President Obama was something less than professional?

For this material girl it was. I couldn't wait to get back at Guy, and who better but with the President. At one point I think he said "crazy for you, touch me once and you know it's true." Lucky star!

Right. And were you worried about Kimmel, or Michele?

Kimmel, no, but Michele, hell yes. But we were having our JFK moment.

Just trying to set this record straight. Are you implying that you and Barack Obama had . . .

Sex, yes, my Sex Book was such a sex-cess!

Oh, I see, you are just trying to promote your songs and publications. You are trying to align your image with President Obama, or say, Marilyn Monroe, to create a false scandal to increase your sales, reinvent your image, could that be possible?

Oh please, I was just looking to express myself! I have a need to just dress you up as my love right now. All I can say is open your heart to me, baby, I hold the lock and you hold the key.

Thank you Ms. Ciccone.

Bitch, I'm Madonna.

Yet another song title, right?


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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