The Case Against Recreation - Part 3: Diner, Drinks, and Dancing

Funny story written by Dick Sheerer

Friday, 31 July 2015


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Odds Are Against You

Dinner, Drinks and Dancing

This entertainment combo frequently goes together as a dating package. The way it works is like this: The couple knows the routine, they want to have fun but to do it right they need to follow a standard procedure that they can count on.

The Three Ds have been a reliable strategy for generations as a ritualistic part of the traditional game playing involved in the mating process. The simple yet effective scheme starts with the couple eating food to get energized and to help absorb all the alcohol that comes next. The drinking helps them relax, loosen up, let go of their inhibitions, and forget about how foolish they will be on the dance floor. The dancing shakes off any remaining tension and allows them to transcend normalcy mesmerized in a dizzy trance-like state, like whirling dervishes. As entertaining as it is though it's just a primer for the main event-sex.

Occasionally the practice is abused by one of the partners. Sometimes the guy will choose the cheapest venues to take his date; a restaurant where they get food poisoning, or a bar where they get mugged. Some women hustlers just want a night out on the town at the guy's expense, without returning the favor with sex, unless he pays an additional fee in advance. A crowded dance floor always runs the risk of dating disasters with the bump and grind of all the sweaty bodies it's easy to lose your mate when she goes home with someone else. When that happens the routine is called the 4 Ds; dine, drink, dance, and get dumped.

As evidenced with the rise in date rape crimes, drinking is more popular than ever because it's an excellent opportunity for serial sex offenders to subdue women by lacing their drinks with a strong sedative known as a date rape drug. Bars are full of these heinous villains hiding in the shadows waiting for the chance to trap another helpless victim.

Date rape is so common now that women naturally assume that every guy that buys them a drink will end up raping them before the night is over. This leads people to think that women who go to bars actually want to be raped, or why else would they go drink at a place full of rapists? Such conditions are good for the bar business because it attracts lots of guys who think that women in bars are just looking for sex.

On the other hand, if a normal guy gets a girl drunk without drugs, and takes her home for sex. When she wakes up the next day she may suspect that the guy drugged and raped her. Rather than give the guy the benefit of doubt she would play it safe and accuse him of date rape, and the police would believe the victim since it's such a common crime.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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