What's on Al Qaeda's List?

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 30 December 2013

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These were not on the list

Receipts discovered at terrorists' hideout reveal their purchases for the next stop and what they may be up to next.

CIA and other top secret organizations have tried to keep the list quiet because it might make itself look bad with all the money we have spent to get it:

150 pair of long underwear made in Cambodia.
200 pairs of pants from L.L. Bean.
100 Pairs of boots from Russian winter catalogue.
100 Russian hats.
As many cigarettes that we can possibly get from American stores, especially those cheaper ones in Kentucky and North Carolina.
1500 pecan nut log rolls from southern United State's Stuckeys.
Cheap factory seconds of laundry soap from companies factories.
2,000 rolls of Extra Soft Charmin bathroom tissue.

There are three more pages but CIA too embarrassed to list.

Their answer to President Obama who had his hopes up for a big breakthrough: "Sorry. My Bad!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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