Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Monday, 23 December 2013

image for Al-Qaeda Apologizes for Deadly Attack on Hospital
"We are so sorry for killing those innocent patients, especially the men, in the hospital we accidentally bombed."

SANAA, YEMEN--A spokesman for al-Qaeda today apologized for a deadly attack on a hospital in Yemen that left dozens of the patients dead or injured.

Said the spokesman, who remained anonymous, "We are so sorry for killing those innocent patients, especially the men, in the hospital we accidentally bombed. We were trying to take out the girls' secondary school next door. I guess we missed. Allahu Akbar!"

When a reporter from Al Jazeera asked the al-Qaeda spokesman if the terrorist group intended to compensate the aggrieved families for their loss, the spokesman said, "What's done is done! But we have since taken out the girls' secondary school we missed the first time. Allahu Akbar!"

Allah, from Jannah (or Paradise), tweeted, "Who are these assholes? I know one thing: They are getting a one-way ticket to Hell after this latest stunt."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: al-Qaeda, Yemen




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