My Senior Moments for W/E: 12th July 2012

Funny story written by Inchcock

Monday, 13 August 2012

image for My Senior Moments for W/E: 12th July 2012
I recommend you cook your potatoes in the oven, for less than eight hours.

Monday 6th Aug
* Up early, went to WC - found I'd left the flipping heater on all night again! Ah well, the utility company will be glad.
* Did diaries for Spoof, and posted them.
* Went over to ogle Margaret... she installs feelings in certain quarters that I should not be having at my age and health!
* Went for a walk afterwards, got caught in the rain, the brolly blew inside out and is now residing in the bin.
* When I got back, I prepared things ready for the hospital visit in the morning, and turned off the oven I'd left on.
* After searching for me mesh oven tray for yonks, I gave up and used a metal dish - then opened the oven door to put it in... yes you've guessed it, there was the mesh tray... oh dear.

Tuesday 7th Aug
* Up around 0430hrs, but got some decent kip in.
* Medications taken, hospital things checked, WC visited three times, Diaries done, and after a 30 minute search shoes found squashed under underneath the bag of potatoes... don't ask please, I've no idea.
* Set off on the marathon walk to the QMC, little bit of drizzle, arrived in about 1hr 20m though, might be a record that.
* When I arrived at the haematology area - I was the only one there! Took a ticket, and as I sat down, my number came up, and in I went.
* Gave the girls some nibbles for their break, and I was seen to and out in no time.
* Too early to catch bus (Bus pass starts at 0930hrs) so sat and did some of the crossword book (well I got two I think) and nibbled me baked potatoe while I waited for 0930hrs.
* Into town, got a baguette and cob for Margaret, and caught bus home.
* Dropped off early, and called in the cob shop and got a sausage sandwich for Stewart, plodded on and got to Stewart's.... and he was out.
* Went to the shops on the front, and found Margaret and Stewart in Lidls. Joined them, and took the trolley home for him while they had a snack in the cafe. Rejoined them, and walked back with them. Stew had spent more than I get pension on his shopping. Jealous me?
* The Sausage sandwich was cold - Gave Margaret her bits, and she took the sandwich to warm up the sausages and not waste them later.
* Back to the hovel, salad cob, beetroot and last banana for nosh.
* Did diaries for tomorrow, so I could go to launderette in morning with bag one of three, then go out to see Margaret at her workplace at the Theatre Royal.

Wednesday 8th Aug
* Up and to the WC, made a cuppa, took medications, and made up 18 dose pots of tablets/pills/capsule in readiness for later.
* Then as I was stacking them up, remembered the increase in dosage of Ramiprils' - and had to open each one to add the 2.5ml capsules. Never mind, at least I remembered!
* Sorted the laundry, two big bags, but could not carry them both at the same time, so took the first to the launderette, calling to see if Stewart wanted anything bringing back from the shops, he asked me to get TV magazine.
*Launderette busy, only one machine free, so crammed everything in and hoped for the best.
*Nipped over to GP surgery and asked for extra Ramipril and Cosdiene as I was low on them, and confined next appointment date.
* Back to the launderette, dried the togs, and returned home, put em away, and got next lot out to take... the heavier stuff, jeans, dressing gowns, towels, blanket etc. Back to the launderette, quieter now.
* The flippin' drier cost over £2, and still the things weren't dry properly!
* Back to the hovel, hung the togs up to finish drying, and got bits to take to Margaret on my visit to her at the Theatre Royal. Set off up Mansfield Road on walk to town.
* Going up the hill past Gregory Boulevard junction, and I was actually knocked over by a disabled scooter driver. He road over my right foot, and the vehicle knocked me into the bushes on my left - lucky that, if it had happened a few yards earlier or later, there was only concrete for me to fall onto... phew! Passers by came over and asked if I was alright, the disabled chap kept asking if I was alright, saying 'Sorry, I just didn't see you!' Shook up for a few moments and the foot and toe hurt, but I was okay I thought. He shot off up the hill, and I hobbled even worse than before on into town.
* Remembered the TV mag for Stewart, and bought a quiz book for Margaret, and called in to see her and give her the things, telling her my Woes... she knows me now, and took in all in her stride.
* Took photo of the Nottingham Riviera beach in town.
* Got tram to Forest, and walked (hobbled) the rest of the way back, posted Stew's mag through his door.
* Investigated me right appendage. The foot is a bit raw on the edge, and the toe is black, and the shoe has a split along the seal.
* Started this blog/Senior Moment for today.

Thursday 9th Aug
* Good kip, up late, gone 0630hrs. WC, medications, and got on with diaries for the day.
* Foot and toe not bad at all after yesterdays argument with the mobility scooter.
* Ablutions tended to, and went over to see Margaret and Stew, Margaret looked tired bless her, and Stew was grumpy. Asked if I could take a photo or two for my blog, of Stew and his 'Harley Davidson' mobility scooter. Photo's on me blog, it looks great. Ton-up Stew's 8mph Harley Davidson! Stew's Harley Davidson Mobility Scooter
* Stew had a little run on the scooter, chaperoned by the ever attentive Margaret, and cheered up a bit. Nice day, sunny.
* Forced myself away from Margaret, and went on walk to Bulwell. Knees okay, but the right foot and little toe was a bit painful by the time I arrived in Bulwell.
* Managed to get some Goulash, Turkey Ragout, and nibbles for Margaret in the morning. The woman at B&M trying to give me £5 in my change that was only 75% there - the number was missing - "It should be okay" she said, 'No' I said. Had to stand around while she called supervisor, asked her to change it, and while she disappeared upstairs then returned with a proper fiver for me, offering a scowl of Olympic standard as she did! Well... it gave me the chance to count the 545 tiles in site on the roof.
* Bus back to the muggers paradise called Carrington, called in GP surgery to pick up prescriptions, and had them filled at the pharmacy. (Amazed I remembered them! Good that!)
* To Lidl (with the usual trepidation about being abused overcharged or cheated) to get a loaf, tomatoes, lettuce, and bananas. Forgot the bananas, but at least I was not overcharged this visit!

Friday 10th Aug
* New pain on waking, in left shoulder/neck, possibly from when I was knocked over by the bat-mobile yesterday. Took medications and some pain-gel on shoulder.
* Did diaries, abluted, and went to shops and got some flowers for Margaret's birthday.
* Dropped them in at Stewart's on way back. Knees and hands okay this morning.
* Forgot to get tom's so nipped back to shops and got some.
* Back to Stew's, and remembered I'd forgotten to get me spread, back to shops, then back to Stew's once again.
* Chat nice chinwag with Stew and Margaret, then walked Margaret home.
* Back to the hovel, to do this Senior Moment update.

Saturday 11th Aug
* Decent nights kip, but still woke up feeling tired.
* Knees and hands very fair, hernia not bothering me, sternum okay, ulcer not playing up at all, no dizzy spells, excess gases no bother, foot getting better... only bit of pain was from shoulder. Put potatoes in the oven, and went up to ablute myself, and put rubbed plenty of Ibuprofen pain gel on shoulder.. or so I believed. When I eventually smelt the pong, I realised I'd put me Dervovate ointment on in error for the pain gel. Ah well...
* Found myself eating less today, due to the taste of peppermint in the ulcer medicine, the toothpaste, and the mouth wash - I'm not keen on peppermint at all.
* Took laptop with me on me trip to see Margaret and Stewart, and showed.. or that be shown?... them the photo's of them with the Harley-Davidson mobility scooter. They were very impressed with with David Bailey skills!
* Stew asked me to go into town with him, and we both enjoyed it I think. Stew was on good form today. He bought me a mobile that is supposed to be compatible with hearing aids, and one for himself. We got back to Stew's and I set up his phone, great model, big keys, loud, and not complicated.. in can't have been for me to set one up!
* Got home and smelt the burning potatoes as I opened the door.
* Updated these Senior Moments and me blog.

Sunday 12th Aug
* Awoke with the shoulder/neck hurting, knees hands okay, ulcer and sternum very fair, wind rampant, ulcer fair, and earache had joined me problems.
* Made a cuppa, to the WC, and started doing diaries, concentration not too good.
* On me way upstairs to turn in hot water for me ablutions, missed a step and fell on me face - oh dear!
* Did teggies, and had a swig of bleach by mistake for mouthwash - I know.. what a prat! It tasted sweet. Spent an awfully long time drinking gallons of water - then removed the bleach form near the sink, better late than never. All seems okay now.
* Went over to see Margaret and Stew, both a little down today. Walked Margaret home, and did this woeful tale.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more