Sperm show Intelligent Design must be right

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 4 April 2011

image for Sperm show Intelligent Design must be right
Evolutionists wave the white flag - don't ask what the flag is painted with

The Intelligent Design movement have finally found convincing evidence that all life on Earth was designed by an omnipotent being: Sperm.

"We now not only know that humans were designed by intelligence," said Ray Comfort, author of many significant Intelligent Design treatises, books and lecture tours, "we also know that there was a committee involved. Human sperm requires a temperature of 96.8ºF whilst human body temperature is 98.6ºF. This is obviously a simple translation error, and not the sort of mistake that so called evolution would make according to the hoodwinked evolutionists."

According to Comfort, and his life-companion, Kirk Cameron, evolution would not produce such an obvious design flaw, but a body designed by multiple intelligences would.

"We're fortunate they didn't mix their units," said Cameron. "Can you imagine what would have happened had the sperm committee been working in Celsius, while the body temperature committee were working in Fahrenheit? The plumbing to get the temperature up in the scrotum would have been immense. As it is, there is no surprise that the design committee had to dangle the scrotum below the body. It's an elegant solution that avoided having to redesign the whole reproductive system from scratch."

In most other vertebrates the male reproductive system can be safely tucked away inside the body, away from harm. This indicates that all the other animals had a single designed responsible for the whole system from start to finish. However, the unprecedented complexity that is humans obviously required a team of deities. Upon being reminded that ID requires a monotheistic religious framework to be consistent, Comfort had an instant answer: "You've heard of angels? What do you think they all do?"

The whole idea is so self-contained and simple, it has to be right. There can be no other explanation.

Richard Dawkins disagrees. "Don't make me laugh," he said. "It is yet one more piece of evidence of accidental design. It's all detailed in my soon to be published book Why ID is wrong: A List of Design Flaws. It is sure to be a massive blockbuster. All my other books have been."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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