Written by dutch

Saturday, 5 February 2011

image for Simon Cowell is Really A Wax Dummy
It's Fantastic Being X-Factored

Simon Cowell had recently started to look more and more plastic. He has no expression and his face is frozen into a sneering snarl. He has the same expression if he is happy or sad.

It is fitting that he is thinking of making a movie about the life of Jordan and Peter Andre and the ill-fated Alex Reid.

Katie Price looks like a little girl's Barbie Doll. Peter Andre has an action man look about him. He has perfect pecs and a six-pack.

Simon Cowell has the look of Barbie's boyfriend Ken about him. His face is as expressionless as a plastic doll. Indeed, it is rumoured that Simon Cowell has had so much botox and fillers that he is more plastic now than human.

Katie Price is a "Barbie girl in a Barbie world. It's fantastic being plastic." It is telling that golden girl Cheryl is starting to get that eerie Stepford Wife look about her. She is starting to look unnatural and you don't know what the really Cheryl looks like any more.

The beautiful people in LA resemble Barbie dolls. In this perfect world everyone lives in beautiful, gated mansions. People lose touch with reality and start to look more and more plastic and artificial. It is as if they are in a film set and not living in real life.

Simon Cowell has secretly cloned himself and there is another cloned Simon who is walking around with that terrifying frozen smile. Cowell's dream of bringing Cheryl to the American X-Factor has backfired. The Americans can see a pretty girl, but she is really nothing special. She is a pretty girl but really nothing spectacular. The Americans would rather have Nicole Sherzinger or Fergie as a judge on the American X-Factor. No one can understand Simon Cowell's fixation with Cheryl Cole. It is doubtful if mouthy Dermot will go down well either; he is too brash and crude for the American X-Factor. Probably old Uncle Louie would go down better with the Yanks. He is Irish and is kind and emotional and he is the only member of the panel who is not plastic.

Simon Cowell is not really a proper human being he is really a remote-controlled robot living in the perfect Barbie world.

It is a secret that Cowell is not really a living, human being but a cold-blooded unfeeling TV producers robot. He is facing burn-out; if his little brown haired barbie Cheryl is not given the plum job on American X-Factor he will melt-down and blow a fuse. Personally, I would rather have Jedward performing than the little poppit Cher Lloyd who is little Cheryl in the making. Why can't the X-Factor produce any bona-fide stars but only little puppets who dance to Papa Cowell's sinister tune.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more