Are You Gay? Here's A Helpful List Of How Not To Be

Funny story written by James Cartwheeler

Wednesday, 22 September 2010


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I've asked myself this question countless times and the answer hasn't been quite clear until today. Years went by and I finally decided that I'm not gay enough to be gay. Not even close. So here I am, trying to learn you how to not be as homosex as you are now. Now the first step is to realize that being gay is bad and being is straight is good. What you next must accept is that no matter how hard you try you will never be straight so get used to have a second rate life.

Now, all you have to do to not be gay is:

Stop looking at homesexual porn. I now it's funny and kinda hot but is it worth not being accepted in society and being a total fag? I think not. Instead, you should go to orgies and grow lots of manly pubic hair. Then no one will doubt your non-existing manliness. It worked for Simon Cowell.


Pretending to be gay is really fucking gay. Even a queer's response to someone(something) pretending to be gay should be "that's fucking gay, bro." If I had a son he'd be dead. But if he said some shit like "I'm gay" before his death and then I walk on him masturbating to regular porn, shit is going down.


"People who say you shouldn't say that's so gay are fucking gay." If I'm walking down the street and I see some gay shit going down and I say "that's so gay" you better not say "DUDE WTF?" Word.


White people are gay so if you're white then you're totally gay. Sorry. Faggot.

If you refrain from being white, stop looking at gay porn, stop pretending to be gay(in which you become gay), and start accepting people saying "Shit is really gay" then you wont be a total fag.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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