The Bus Journey Blues

Funny story written by Piglet

Monday, 19 July 2010

image for The Bus Journey Blues
Beep beep, Mister Bus

The Man got on the bus and the bus took off into the sky. When it landed after a minute or two, the man tried to get some nighty-nighty like all good sleepy boys should.

But this was not to be so.

Oink oink.

Beside the man but not close to him (8-feet away, at a guess) a Lady was there. She had big eyes like saucers, the kind of eyes you see on little dogs with curly tails.

Oink oink.

"Touch me, Baby!", the lady shrieked.

The man pretended he did not hear such words from the lady's mouth.

"Touch me, Baby! Touch me hard!", she wailed once more.

The man shook his head at the lady.

"Not today, thank you".

The man sat back and read the newspaper.

Oink oink.

The Man have freak-out inside his head but not show freak-out to people around the man (no closer than the 8-feet on one side; 2-feet front and back).

Bus roll along, topsy-turvey, roll-roll-roll.

The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round
'Round, 'round, 'round,
'Round, 'round, 'round.
The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round
All. Day. Longgggggggggg

The man smoke his pipe. Puff-puff.
Bus Conductor Man not like smokey-wokey.

"Touch me, baby!", shouts the Bus Conductor Man.

The man get fright of his life. He immediately spits out his pipe and folds his arms across his jumbly-wumbly chest, defensively.

"Touch me, Baby!", the Bus Conductor Man calls out again as he holds out his hand for the Man's tickety-boo.

"No thank you. Not today", says the man.

The man hands the bus Conductor Man his ticket and the Bus Conductor Man uses ticky-ticky machine on it, then hands it back and moves on.

Oink oink.

The man looks out the window and wonders why he took the bus because he had nowhere to go.

In the window of his head a magical, miniature Jazz Man plays a saxophone sadly.

This makes the man wonder about life, love and happiness.
Where did it all go so terribly wrong?

Oink oink.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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