Q.So Boris, how is it running London?
A. Well R.L, running London is like watching Greyhounds races. Boring Boring Boring. It's only fun if Ken Livingstone comes aswell, becuase then I can throw food at him, keeping my mind of the dogs. What I mean is that running London only gets fun when I am distracted by something which has nothing to do with London because then the boringness of running London is taken away by what else I am doing, like throwing eggs and toilet rolls at No. 10.
Q. How long are you intending on being Mayor of London?
A. Until the next elections!
Q. What will you do after that?
A. What George Bush did, i'll fly to my house in Northumberland and let my baggage go all the way to Moscow, so I can get myself distracted from the boringness of living in Northumberland! I must have been drunk when I bought that house!
Q. What will you do to keep your mind off living in Northumberland?
A.I will take part on Total Wipeout and become a drunk Dizzy Dummy!
Q.Thank-You for your time Mr. Johnson, let's hope we see you again!
A. Oh get out, I have a city to run!
NEXT WEEK: Andrew Lloyd-Webber
By R.L.Spoof.
Interview with Boris Johnson.
