Dubya's final duty as outgoing President of the US is to apologize to the world for the past decade. In an anonymous email sent to In Seine News, a draft of copy of his farewell address to the nation has been revealed. This must be the most honest and humbling speech Bush has ever made and he is destined for a place in history.
To: The World
From: The USA
Subject: Technical Notice
The United States of America, your quality supplier of ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage.
The technical fault that led to this eight-year service interruption has been located, and the parts responsible for it were replaced Tuesday night, November 4. Early tests of the newly-installed equipment indicate that it is functioning correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional by mid-January.
We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage, and we look forward to resuming full service --- and hopefully even to improving it in years to come.
Thank you for your patience and understanding,
George W. Bush
God Bless America!