Written by Judge Retort

Friday, 24 October 2008

image for 8th grade textbook has Obama chapter
Barack Obama confidentally standing behind government

Many grade schools have begun the new school year with a new chapter in their standard textbook enthusiastically reflecting the upcoming expected new Presidential administration.

Here are samples from the new chapter:

HISTORY Section:

Obama sez: History doesn't matter. I'm going to change it anyway. Don't bother learning about all that old stuff because it's all Euro-centric to begin with.
Besides, everything I'm going to change will change history and you'll all be focused on that.


Obama sez: Everywhere! I'm going to change everything everywhere!

ENGLISH Section:

Obama says: Specifically, my administration won't just change the life of everyone, everybody, one and all, each person, every man and woman, cats and dogs - my administration shall also alter, vary, modify, transform, revolutionize, adjust, and amend every aspect of life on this planet that the previous administration of the last eight years has wrecked, ruined, broken, and corrupted.

MATH Section:

Obama sez: Using the mathematics of change, I calculate that everyone gets a tax cut, everyone gets free medical care, everyone gets free education through college, everyone gets one free meal at McDonalds everyday, and all of this beginning with a free ride to the polling booth November 4th in one of my private limousines with plenty of free liquor, and finally your own free political advisor from ACORN who will help you find my name on the ballot.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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