Fatty Two Jags trades in for Beetle convertible

Written by C I Weightman

Monday, 1 September 2008

image for Fatty Two Jags trades in for Beetle convertible
Mr Prescott requested a sun flower for his new car

John Prescott aka Fatty Two Jags has emptied his garage of executive saloons in favour of an entirely new style of car: a yellow Beetle convertible. Tom Foolery, sales manager at Doncaster's VW garage, watched with shock and ore as the portly politician took the canary yellow bird-puller for a test drive with the hood down.

"He had a huge smile on his face and said that he'd soon be picking up tarts in short skirts in this beast", said Mr Foolerly. "Mr Prescott had a bit of bother sqeezing in behind the wheel but as the Beetle comes with an adjustable steering column, we were able to rectify that in a jiffy."

Mr Prescott returned the car after his test drive and slammed the keys to his two jags down on the table and confirmed the purchase of the Beetle with "throw in a matching sun flower and I'll take it!". The deal was sealed and Mr Prescott was able to drive away his new car that afternoon.

Mr Prescott said to the salesman, "It's time to get rid of these guzzlers and get me a modern motor. Pauline wanted a Honda Civic but I'm ready to live a bit and what better way than with this beauty. And the birds love these, they all 'ave them in California apparently."

Fatty Yellow Beetle as he is now to be known left the garage with a wheel spin shortly before performing a hand break turn in the Currys car park.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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