Bush Wanted Dead or Alive

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Sunday, 6 May 2007


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CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The World - Today, the entire world sent out Wanted posters for U.S. President George W. Bush. Among the crimes listed are:

  • Butchering the English Language
  • Defamation of Muslims
  • Piracy of the Constitution of the United States
  • Lying to the American People While in Office
  • Unprovoked Attacks on Foreign Countries
  • Causing Internal Conflict in the U.K.
  • Having Gay Sex with Tony Blair
  • Promoting Cocaine Use Worldwide to Fund the CIA's Covert Operations
  • Promoting Drug Use and Alcoholism with His Ridiculous Statements
  • Endangering the Environment of Earth
  • Stealing Oil from Third World Countries
  • Disregarding the Bill of Rights
  • Impersonating a Christian
  • Pimping the DC Madam
  • Ignoring Scientists on Global Warming and Climate Change
  • Ignoring Soldiers' Burials
  • Imposing a Threat to Freedom and Security Worldwide
  • Signing the Military Commissions Act of 2006 (MCA)
  • Ignoring Intelligence on Iraq
  • 750 laws enacted since he took office, asserting that he has the power to set aside any statute passed by Congress when it conflicts with his interpretation of the Constitution.
  • Ignoring poverty and inequality in Latin America and the United States
  • Ignoring plans for the long-term future of the Mexican-American relationship presented by President Vicente Fox of Mexico
  • Ignoring the Supreme Court and Congress
  • Ignoring the Pentagon
  • Ignoring the United Nations
  • Ignoring the Geneva Convention
  • Ignoring Laura
  • Insulting the Queen and Prince of England

The list goes on and on. There are so many charges against Bush that there isn't room on all the hard drives on the "Internets" to store the data. New charges are added each time the president opens his mouth or signs a bill.

Word has it that President Bush plans to cancel the 2008 elections after Hillary and Obama spend all of their money. He will then announce himself as the "Supreme Dictator of the World." God help us all.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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