Why David Letterman isn't funny

1. The late show top ten list
2. Paul Schafer
3. Chronic cirrhosis
4. Loves too much
5. Bill Oreilly felafel'd his funny bone
6. CBS owned by reptillian-like creatures with no sense of humour
7. He doesn't tell jokes, he just says things, and people laugh cause there stupid
8. The cbs orchestra not a real orchestra
9. Conan and Leno pissed on all the cue cards
10. David Letterman

I'm Sean Hannity, now in burgundy.