Kat Von D's Show 'LA Ink' Gets Cancelled But She Gets Back Together With Jesse James

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 19 August 2011

image for Kat Von D's Show 'LA Ink' Gets Cancelled But She Gets Back Together With Jesse James
Kat Von D is once again wearing Jesse James' engagement ring.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - One of America's most tattooed women has admitted that this summer has been one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride for her.

Kat Von D, 29, recently spoke with Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine at a local Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse and remarked that she feels like she has aged ten years just in the past month.

Three weeks ago Von D and then-boyfriend Jesse "Messy" James were to have gotten married this summer but Kat broke off the engagement when she learned that "MotorcycleBoy" with the wandering wiener was doing the mattress jig with another woman who even had more effen tattoos than she did.

So that woman had now done to Kat what Kat had done to Jesse's then wife Sandra "The Kissing Bandit" Bullock. What's that saying that originated in Chicago back in 1959, "Paybacks are a bitch!"

And then to add further to Kat's bad luck, her reality cable show LA Ink has just been cancelled. The official word was that the show was just not bringing in the viewers but word behind the scenes is that Kat had become extremely difficult to work with demanding that the director bring her salami and jelly sandwiches and that the producer bring her Mango Margaritas and dry roasted cashews.

But one insider said that the last straw was when Kat insisted that her great grandmother Esmeralda Blatzweather be given a part in the show.

The producers refused saying that the American people did not want to see a 96-year-old great grandmother completely covered with tattoos that even the best tattoo artists in the land couldn't even tell what the hell the tattoos were anymore.

But alas now it appears that the sun is once again shining on everyone of Kat Von D's tattoos. The word is that her ex-future husband "Messy" Jesse James has now come back into her life and has begged her to forgive his pathological boinking.

He says that he wants for her and him to once again become the happy tattooed couple that they were before he went and did some belly bumping with some skank ho whose name he can't even remember.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Her name is Kiki Jolene Frothingwax-Butternoogie, 47, and she is a thrice-divorced unemployed, meter maid who lives in a trailer park in Hawaiian Gardens, California.]

Looking at Jesse one might easily think that the boy is missing several utensils from his silverware drawer but he seems to have timed it perfectly coming back into Kat's life when her tattooed ass was down on the ground.

Tequila Tallyho says that she will stay with the story and bring you any new developments from the most tattooed couple in America.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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