Miss Fancy Pants

Written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 3 July 2011

image for Miss Fancy Pants
And if I press send, I will be famous too.

The Bourne ultimatum continues, with 'Miss Fancy Pants' herself Carolyn Bourne entering the fray, in a big fancy car, and a large insurance payout to bring down the government.

The snobbish 60 year old sent a rude email to her future daughter-in-law Heidi Withers, (no relation to the soul singer, Otis Redding, or even Bill Withers) and the resulting furore has now made the unassuming (but socially quite obnoxious) Mrs Bourne something of a global celebrity.

A member of the audience on the X Factor said 'Look, all of these people put years into their music, and everything, she sends one rude email and goes global. Maybe we should all send emails to people we don't know that well, pointing out their character flaws, based on our own prejudices and narrow-mindedness and see what happens'.

We sent an email to Mrs Bourne, but the reply we got back was 'Why do you think I might be interested in you, you insignificant little worm. Someone needs to teach you a lesson in politeness'. We hope she does not understand the concept of Irony.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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