It's official - there just isn't enough smut, filth, porn, and perversion available on the internet these days.
At a conference in a Godalming motel, fifty leading internet entrepreneurs agreed that there just isn't enough smut to go around, and of what there is, much of it is regurgitated on different websites all over the net.
Satirical websites, which publish spoof type news stories have been particularly hard hit.
One entrepreneur bemoaned a lack of celebrity breast implant stories, whilst others bemoaned a distinct lack of homages to genitalia, both male and female, but did point out a dearth of hermaphrodite based humour.
Mike Lawton, CEO of theSpoof.com said:
"You just don't get this type of submission that often these days. It's obvious to me that there aren't enough people working in this field for their stuff to go around."
At one point, the delegates actively considered initiating a recruitment drive, in order to tap into new sources of previously unpublished smut.
One of the problems with established smut peddlers occurs when they experience burnout and become stale and repetetive - a common problem amongst pornographers.
"There must be hundreds of them out there," commented Michael Spillane, a website administrator. "They're just burned out and spewing out the same old penis/vagina stories ad nauseum. It's the same with the nude photo/calendar people - there's a limit to what you can do with this type of material. Most of the stuff out there right now is the literary and cinematic equivalent of flogging a dead horse."
The problem now is that the industry needs to unearth some exciting new talent, who can put a fresh slant on bawdy smut and set the world's underwear aquiver all over again.
"Don't look at me mate," a veteran satirist complained. "I've been wanked dry for years now."
Anyone with any new ideas or material aimed at rejuvenating the industry should log on to www.newwavepunksmut.con for further information. (Please have bank details to hand.)
More as we get it.
