Football scandal grows as Man Utd WAGs reveal bedroom secrets

Written by Lady Godiva

Saturday, 28 May 2011

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Try making love with a soccer ball between YOUR feet

It had to happen one day, Manchester United's WAGs found a way to earn extra spending money by selling some of their 'bedroom secrets' to a reporter.

Players' names weren't mentioned for obvious reasons, but the players in question will recognize themselves if they read this.

Below are some of the bedroom secrets revealed:


WAG 1

Well our lad always goes to bed with a football between his feet so I have to do most of the work when it comes to love-making, if yer know worra mean like.

It limits our 'positions' and when I listen to the other WAGs I really feel like I am missing out on a lot of 'fun'.

WAG 2

Well 'positions' aren't our problem. My fella's extremely agile and I'm extremely flexible myself. My problem, if you can call it a problem, is that during sex he always insists on me wearing the jersey of the next team Man. U. are going to play.

He says if he can't 'stick to 'em on the field' at least he feels like he's able to .......well...I don't need to finish this. You can use your imagination.

WAG 3

Listening to the other two I now think I don't have it that bad really.

Our love-making doesn't include footballs or jerseys, thank god.

The only thing my lad does is, he insists on me screaming "Gooooooooooal!" every time I achieve a 'you know what'.

The kids have stopped asking me why I scream that word in the night. I told them I dream a lot about their daddy 'scoring'.

So far, so good but I think as they get older, they'll probably figure out that my story is not 'quite' true.

More from the WAGS at a later date.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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