Merriam-Webster changes definition of "Psychotic"

Funny story written by Ryan Inverso

Friday, 13 May 2011

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Merriam-Webster have released their updates and revisions list today, and many linguists are up in arms over one particular change. The word "psychotic" and all of it's relations and roots have been changed to receive an additional definition. The words will for time ad infinitum also carry the meaning "utterly charming and witty."

When asked why the change was made, a Merriam-Webster representative told us that it came from a series of threads on social networking site Facebook. The threads in question belong to spoof writer Ryan Inverso and in many of them he is called a psycho by his soon to be sister-in-law.

"We have met Ryan in person, and he is a very charming and witty gentleman. After seeing how many times he was called "Psychotic" by his sister-in-law we just had to change the definition." says the M-W rep.

Many patients in psychiatric hospitals are rejoicing at the news. Interviews at Trenton State Psychiatric in New Jersey have yielded the following quotes, all anonymous to protect the identities of patients:

"Cheese pizza in the face doesn't have half the calories of cats have fleas, you dig?"

"The proclamation of stupendous frosted oats cereal. How are we supposed to smell couches in the middle of Fourth of July fireworks, Homo Sapiens."

The last Gentleman we interviewed drooled and threw feces at us.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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