A Full-Figured Paris Hilton Responds To Pregnancy Questions

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 29 January 2011

image for A Full-Figured Paris Hilton Responds To Pregnancy Questions
Paris Hilton as she looked before she gained 25 pounds. (Photo courtesy of Lindsay Lohan).

SAN PAULO, Brazil - Hollywood socialite and queen of Hollywood's glitter glam world pranced up and down the runway at The Annual San Paulo Fashionista Fashion Show Extravaganza which was held at The Brazil Nuts Convention Auditorium.

The famous blonde who lately has had more than her share of run ins with the American legal system strutted, sashayed, shimmied, swished, and swayed her sun-kissed stuff all over the runway.

And looking up at her with his mouth wide open was Hilton's boyfriend Cy Waits, a former Las Vegas casino chips cleaner, as well as Hollywood natives Ashton Kutcher and (his still) wife Demi Moore, Heidi Montag, Russell Brand (sans new bride Katy Perry), and Kourtney Kardashian (representing the Kardashian Trio).

When Paris first appeared wearing a beautifully exquisite flowing House of Gucci gown the entire audience let out a collective oooh.

Preston St. Bolero, who was covering the event for the American news program Bedroom Pillow Talk stated the crowd's reaction was not due to the $29,000 dress it was due to the fact that Paris Hilton appears to have gained about 25 pounds and looks as if she could be with child.

St. Bolero went up to Cy Waits during an intermission and tactfully inquired if Miss Hilton was in fact in a family way. Waits started giggling like a San Fernando Valley school girl and replied that Hilly, as he calls her is not pregnant.

Waits then whispered to St. Bolero that what it is, is that his girlfriend has developed a tremendous craving for Hostess Twinkies. Cy which is short for Cyclone added that Hilly is now averagng about 27 Twinkies a day.

A well know Hollywood male celebrity who is married to a much older woman and who asked that his name not be used declared that La Hilton's weight has gotten way out of control as evidenced by her Madonna-looking biceps, Beyonce-looking thighs, Kim Kardashian-looking butt, and Lady Gaga-looking crotch bulge.

Many of the media reporters had questions regarding the possibility that Hilton appeared to be pregnant. St. Bolero did manage to speak with Paris Hilton exclusively after the fashion show and he did ask her if she was indeed pregnant.

Paris smiled and told him that she was not at all pregnant and that it was just the awfully horrible lighting at The Brazil Nuts Convention Auditorium that made her appear as if she was.

In a related story. Hilton's boyfriend confided to St. Bolero that he has secretly approached the Weight Watchers organization about possibly using Paris as their spokesperson.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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