BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton was sitting in The Haven of Hair Salon getting her split ends cut, her black roots dyed blonde, her nose hairs trimmed, and her ear lobes botoxed.
Her hair stylist FuFi Fondue told her that he had just read in Left Coast Mirror Magazine that people are beginning to refer to Sarah Palin as "The Paris Hilton of Politics."
Hilton raised her eyebrows and yelled out "What?"
Fondue said that even former President George Bush remarked to Barbara Walters that the Alaskan 'Tomboy' has about as much business being in politics as he has of being an NBA basketball player.
Bush, who cannot stand the leader of the Palinista party added "Ya know if "Old Bull's Eye" Palin doesn't even know where da hell Russia, South Korea, the big friggin continent of Africa, or even Rhode Island is then how in the name of Saint Nanook the patron saint of Eskimo Igloos is the silly bitch ever going to find the White House?"
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I hate to say it but I have to agree with Old Mr. WMD on this one. The old lying cowpoke finally got it right. It is hard to believe that when Katie Couric asked Palin where Rhode Island was she paused for a moment, smiled that silly canary eating grin of hers and replied, "Katie, ya know, I'm pretty sure that it's in the South Pacific somewhere, perhaps around Cuba and Greenland maybe."]
Paris Hilton took out her cell phone and said that she was going to talk to her old friend John "The Comb Over" McCain and tell him that he better tell his old girlfriend that she better stop acting so geographically stupid because she (PH) is getting tired of people thinking that she may be just as stupid about geography as "Snowflake" Sarah is.
Fondue remarked, "Paris hon, you do know where Russia is right?"
"Hell yes, I do. It's right next to Costa Rica any dummy knows that."
Fondue smiled and asked "And sweety you do know where South Korea is right?
"Damn straight I do. It's located right on top of North Korea for goodness sake even my little six month old nephew Gucci Hilton knows that."
"And Africa and Rhode Island?"
Paris thought for a moment. And then she replied, "Well Africa is like the name says in Africa. And Rhode Island is like Palin said in the South Pacific but it isn't near Cuba or Greenland like the Wasilla dummy said it was. Rhode Island is actually bordered by Pakistan, Scotland, and Milwaukee."
Hilton then told FuFi that all of this geography talk was making her hungry and she asked him if he had any lobster Newburg in his refrigerator. He replied that he did and that it was right next to the chocolate covered escargot.
Paris got up to get it and as she was walking to the refrigerator she mumbled to herself, "I am getting effen tired of people saying that "Crosshairs" Sarah Palin is the "Paris Hilton of Politics." Everyone knows that I am so much prettier than that Alaskan wilderness witch and besides, I don't wear a jockstrap like she does.
In a related story. The rumor that Sarah's husband Todd Palin is leaving her for Nanicka Zapalicka, a stunningly attractive and very feminine 27-year-old Eskimo-American fishing guide have been labeled as false by both Todd and Nanicka.