Oh no, it's the f***ing X-Factor again

Funny story written by I think I'm funny...

Saturday, 6 November 2010

Yes, it's the show where the girls sing like guys and the guys sing like girls, and it's time for iThink's bitchy round-up of this evening's action.

This week there were notable performances by Matt Cardle, Treyc Cohen and of course W/Vagner.

"Eeee Matt" cooed X-Factor pundit Cheryl "Ye must 'av 'ad yer nuts in a vice to get that high" after Matt's rendition of some song or other. Matt admitted that he had, indeed, slammed his love-plums in the dressing room door. It was this, he claimed, that had enabled him to hit the incredible high notes that the song demanded.

Treyc Cohen, the women who can't spell her own name, was looking particularly fetching in a flowing white ball gown, however even this couldn't prevent her gigantic arse from needing its own postcode.

W/Vagner camped it up in a way, only someone who lives in a bungalow in Dudley, can. Yes, Elvis was truly spinning in his grave as V/Wagner mangled "Viva Lash Wegas" before murdering "Vonder of You." The King of Rock n Roll is Dead; long live the King of Karaoke!

There was the usual knock-about pantomime stuff from the judges, with the Wicked Witch of the North, the Oirish Leprechaun, and the Sorceress of Oz, all clashing with Moustache Twirling Villain.

This show has more twists and turns than a tapeworm with indigestion, what will happen next? Who knows, and who the hell cares!


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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