X-Factor Furore As Wagner Walks In On Naked Mary

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 6 November 2010

image for X-Factor Furore As Wagner Walks In On Naked Mary
Some Wagner Fans Waiting Eagerly To Greet Their Hero - In Bolivia

Saucy Wagner Carillho has been carpeted once again by X-Factor bosses after walking in on a naked Tesco Mary Byrne, then sitting on her bed and refusing to move until she allowed him to sing 'She Bangs!' by Ricky Martin.

Sources say that Tesco Mary was visibly upset, and security had to be called after repeated requests for the pony-tailed kung-fu kicking Brazilian to leave were refused.

Wagner insisted to security guards that he wasn't going anywhere until he had sung 'She Bangs!' for Mary. It was only when security guard Matt Painter threatened to "knacker your neck in if you don't shift yer fat arse," that Wagner relented.

According to sources.

This isn't the first time that Wagner has courted controversy - apparently an X-Factor researcher lodged an official complaint about his behaviour after he did something or other. Probably grabbed her arse or something - if certain unscrupulous websites (not this one) are to be believed.

Possibly this is at least partially why Tesco Mary looked so uncomfortable on Saturday's live 'American Anthem' themed show. Mary put in a solid performance, but somehow seemed to be lacking her usual bravura. As one would if confronted in a vulnerable situation by a hairy arsed Brazilian.

Wagner though put in his usual polished performance in an Elvis costume, but one abiding mystery remains:

Where did Wagner get the Bolivian Medal Of Honour from?

A senior interpol detective from South Carolina wearing a huge fake moustache was drafted in to get to the bottom of the Bolivian medal mystery. Inspector Cap Morse told Skoob Entertainment News:

"It's weird about the Bolivian Medal Of Honour, and what's even weirder is that my investigations have revealed that it was originally purchased in the Chiswick area of West London, and was apparently first spotted in Winchester being worn by one member of a bunch of pirates. Although why pirates would gather in Winchester is totally beyond me - I'm still looking into that."

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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