Ricky Martin Snags Starring Role in Upcoming "Shaving Ryan's Privates"

Funny story written by Charpa93

Friday, 5 November 2010

image for Ricky Martin Snags Starring Role in Upcoming "Shaving Ryan's Privates"

In what is being billed as the first feature-length film focusing on the controversial don't ask, don't tell military policy, "Shaving Ryan's Privates" is due out in spring 2011, and its producers have just announced that the starring role has been given to none other than singing sensation Ricky Martin.

Martin, a long-time supporter of the repeal of the don't ask, don't tell policy, is said to be jubilant about getting the lead role of Private Jake Ryan, a tattooed gay young southern boy who catches the eye of his commanding officer, Sgt. Harry Warchest.

The musical love story was the brainchild of up-and-coming director, Shurl E. Eukid, who claims that although this is a musical, it takes a hard look at homosexuality in the military like never before. Eukid says he grew up on movies like Mash and McHale's Navy and believes there has always been a place for alternative lifestyles in military films and television shows, even if the subject was not taken seriously.

When asked where he got the idea for "Shaving Ryan's Privates" Eukid stated that it just came to him one evening while watching his life partner get ready for his cabaret act at a local gay theatre. "Watching Sal go through his weekly grooming for the part he played as Laverne in the show Socks in a D Cup based loosely on the television show Laverne and Shirley got me to thinking about the time down in Rio when Sal had gone in for a bikini wax and peejazzling, and well, 'Shaving Ryan's Privates' kinda came out of nowhere."

The part of Sgt. Harry Warchest has not yet been cast, but Eukid has a couple of names he's considering for the part, including Harvey Fierstein and Alan Cumming. Cumming being Eukid's favorite.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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