Written by Nick Hobbs

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

image for Cher Lloyd 'Stroke Caused Me To Sing And Dance Like A Retard'
Cher Lloyds knee, in mid-jerk

Cher Lloyd, the weird faced odd bod of X-Factor, has admitted to reporters that she suffered a minor stroke two years ago, causing her to start dancing the way she does.

"She broke down and admitted that a stroke had hit her hard, and caused her leg to do that Monty Python style half raised jerk, like in the Silly Walks sketch," said Graham Bottsnatch, Cher's friend.

Her constant gurning and nasal rap 'technique', which has been annoying veiwers far and wide for weeks, is really beginning to get on people's tit's.

"At least there's an explanation now, though," continued her friend, "I must admit, I did notice her mouth had dropped, and she does tend to dangle her hand down by her side when she sings, so it all kinda makes sense now!"

The stupid tart has been warned that over excitement on the live shows may cause her to have another attack, possibly a major stroke, leaving her incapacitated or worse!

We wish her all the luck, and hope she stays in the competition as long as it takes.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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