The BBC announced yesterday that it is to scrap plans for their forthcoming show "Celebrity Talent".
A spokesman said that despite interviewing more than 800 D list celebrities it had been impossible to find enough of them with some modicum of talent to take part.
"When we explained that they would be required to either play a musical instrument, or sing, or dance, or tell jokes all to a professional standard we were generally met with blank looks" he said. "Although one or two of the brighter ones appeared to have grasped what we were saying and started to panic".
"We had to subdue Timmy Mallet with a tazer" he added.
Bosses at ITV however insisted that they would be continuing with plans for their new new reality show "I'm a celebrity; Strip me naked".
All of the celebrities were available for comment, as always.