Singing the lyrics of 'All That Meat & No Potatoes' Lady GaGa was excited by the advances of England's ball man Wayne Rooney who was on the lookout for a bit of fresh chicken.
The Lady was dressed in pigs chops and cow's udders and looked a stunner. Unfortunately there was no chicken. 'But I'm a real Chick, my lovely Roo!' she exclaimed.
'Let's see what you look like without your pork chops and beef steak' suggested the foot ball genius.
'Darling. You won't be disappointed. I've got a figure which is the envy of every woman in the world. I am so popular with men because I know how to please.'
An excited Roo sent a note to Fergie informing him that he could not get to the next training session for Manchester United because he had a stiff leg.
Fergie was not amused. 'Be here or I'll have your balls for breakfast.'
'Someone else will have my balls' Roo replied.
'Then you can go on the transfer list and you won't play for me again' said Fergie, red with fury.
'I will see if my Lady can look after you Fergie and help you relax a bit.'
'So you are offering me your wife so I'll agree to you missing training?'
'No, its Lady GaGa. She's gagging for you.'
'Oh, I don't like her clothes being made of animal flesh.'
'She'll have nothing on.'
Fergie was tempted. He wanted Roo for football and GaGa for relaxation and lamb cutlets. Meet her, he would.
So the Lady had more than she could chew on. She decided she would become a vegeterian and dress in carrots and cauliflowers in future.
