Britney Spears, the starlet turned trailer trash, has been accused of inadvertently opening up a huge black hole in her own home in Los Angeles.
Fernando Flores, her now ex-bodyguard, has filed a lawsuit against the fallen star, for endangering his life by messing with the general theory of relativity.
According to the suit, filed today, Britney was wearing a white lace, see-through dress with no undergarments, when she walked over close to Flores and intentionally dropped her cigarette lighter on the floor. She then reportedly bent over to pick it up, and a huge black hole opened before him.
"My client was terrified," said Wang Koch, attorney, "he could feel himself being drawn in. It was so black. Like staring into the eye of the Devil himself!"
"As my client became faint, Miss Spears covered the black hole and returned to smoking a cigarette," Koch continued.
It is not the first time Britters has been accused of misusing her quantum mechanics. She once famously flashed her event horizon infront of cameras, when attending a party and she has also been captured by photographers juggling her Milky Way's.
Sonny Finklestein, a close friend of Britters, has told of his concern for her black hole.
"Everyone knows it emits Hawking radiation, but I think it's increasing to dangerous levels," he told us.
We just hope she keeps her Einstein ring under wraps, for all our sakes.
