HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Lindsay Lohan, the former convict, inmate, and prisoner, has reportedly called up the once baseball hall of fame shoe-in Roger Clemens and tried to make him feel better about his legal situation.
LiLo told the ex-pitcher known as "The Rocket" that she found prison to be bearable and not really as bad as everyone says except for the fact that he was not allowed to have her cell phone, her iPod, her cosmetics, and her Margaritas.
Lohan told Roger that one thing that really helped her during her stay at The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women in Los Angeles was the fact that she gave each and every inmate an 8 by 10 personally autographed photo of her wearing one of the smallest bikini swimsuits ever manufactured.
The little lost girl, Lohan seems to have finally found her way as she has just finished appearing in the new satire/parody starring Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba, Cheech Marin, and Danny Trejo in the lead role of Mickey Machete in Machete.
Lohan said that as best as she can figure, the movie was set in Arizona and deals with the annual low-rider exhibit and Governor Jan Brewer's backyard barbecues.
SIDENOTE: Governor Brewer saw the film and was asked what she thought about it. She smiled and said that she wishes that Jessica Alba had portrayed her instead of Lindsay Lohan.
