Paris Hilton has been arrested by Las Vegas police after they discovered cocaine in her vehicle.
During her terrifying ordeal (seriously, you think she'd be used to it by now), Ms Hilton was stripped bare and searched by officers while onlookers watched in pitying ecstasy.
So upset was Ms Hilton that copious tears of rage streamed down her face. Frantic eye-witnesses report that at this time, wispy clouds of gas began emanating from her nose, before it began to bubble and boil and literally dribble down her face, seemingly dissolved by her tears.
An expert explained: "Cocaine is a highly corrosive substance. When mixed with human tears it becomes even more pungent."
The celebrity world has come out with words of support and succor for the down-on-her-luck socialite, and even a charity has been formed to raise funds to help reconstruct Paris' face.
Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon has been notified and is reportedly on stand-by.
