Paris Hilton was invited to the premiere of her new film, Paris, Me, Me, All Of Me, in a small New England town called Bullsnort Mass, when out of nowhere, her vagina went on a rampage, terrorizing the town folk young and old alike. Even puppies were not safe.
"It was horrifying", said Martha Plumpton, the thing was jumping up and down, sliming everyone it could get near. Goo was everywhere and you could hardly walk on the sidewalks. It was like a skating rink in the middle of summer".
The incident started when Paris was getting out of her limo, when peek-a-poo, out flashed her gash. Apparently it had been so long since Paris had let her kerslopus out of it's cage, it went nuts.
Harvy Saperstine, noted gynecologist, gave his opinion about the unprovoked attack. You can't just let your vagina go out and play all the time without suffering the consequences. Once your peekachoo has the taste of freedom, and then is denied freedom, it becomes like a wild animal".
According to the town folk her vagina charged like a leopard out of a cage. Once her vagina went on the rampage, other vagina's joined in, in rebellion. Slime and goo was everywhere.
The town of Bullsnort has never seen such a mess, it took them nearly a week to hose down the entire town and sanitize all the parks and fair grounds.
Mayor of Bullsnort, Herford Q.Bovine stated that, "the town was aware of the recent incident, where a man was brutally attacked by an angry vagina , so we were prepared for any contingency no matter how slippery the slope".
Other than that the opening was a total success.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Corner of Sunset and Vine
Hollyweird
Somewhere thinkin:
"It will work. I am a marketing genius."
Paris Hiltona man was brutally attacked by an angry vagina
