Hayden Panettiere Changes Name To Hayden's Panties

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Hayden Panettiere, the actress most famous for playing the cheerleader in Heroes, had decided to change her name. The starlet, who will be 21 this month, has decided to become "Hayden's Panties."

From her trailer on location in Arizona, where she is filming "Stripper Zombie Invasion," Hayden's offered the following: "All I'm doing are dropping some letters from my last name and adding the letter S. It's not like I'm going from Archie Leach to Cary Grant."

"Everyone keeps speculating about my body and when I am going to do full frontal nudity. Photographers are always trying to shoot my ass to see if I'm in bikini panties, low rise, high rise, or a thong. I thought the name change would keep everyone interested."

"My taking advantage of my name is about the same as the first Paris Hilton film, An Evening In Paris, with just as much sexploitation."

"I figure that if someone is going to benefit from my body, it might as well be me. Besides, it will make my last name easier to remember, pronounce, and spell."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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