Rush Limbaugh Says The Only Reason President Obama Is President and Oprah Winfrey Is Successful is Because They Are Both Black

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 8 July 2010

image for Rush Limbaugh Says The Only Reason President Obama Is President and Oprah Winfrey Is Successful is Because They Are Both Black
Rush Limbaugh holding one of his huge cigars, which Adam Lambert says resembles a pecker.

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - GOP mouthpiece and political raconteur Rush Limbaugh was in town to address the yearly conference of The Wisconsin Gorgonzola Cheese Merchants.

Afterwards, Limbaugh was asked why it is that President Obama and Oprah Winfrey are so successful.

El Rusho wasted no time in providing the reporter with his answer. "Oh my dear friend, that is an easy one. The only reason that President Obama is 'Your' president is because he is black."

Limbaugh went on to add, "And the only reason that Oprah Winfrey is successful and makes tons and tons of money is because she is black as well."

So the reporter noted that if Barack Obama was, say Norwegian, or Irish, or, British, he would not have gotten elected.

"Eggzackary" Limbaugh bellowed.

The reporter then stated that if Oprah was say, Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric, or Kate Gosselin, she would not be anywhere near as successful as she is now.

"Bingo Arms my friend."

The reporter shook his head. "So then, using your reasoning Mr. Limbaugh, if you were black you could very well be the president of the United States?"

"Sho nuff, fo sho, and what's dat udder un...oh yeah, fa shizzle my nizzle."

Mr. Limbaugh, do you see yourself as maybe, perhaps being a wee bit on the prejudice side.

"Hell no. I eat Aunt Jemima Pancakes, I love watermelon, and I enjoy watching NBA basketball games, where the players are about...96% black.

And just so you know. Just last night the wife made me a nice big bowl of Uncle Ben's Converted Rice. So to answer your damn trouble making question...no suh."

In other news. Glenn Beck, who has vowed to capture London's crazed criminal Raoul Moat, said that he visited The Vibrating Fingers Massage Parlor near Westminster Abbey where Moat had visited just 30 minutes before hand.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more