Kelly Brook Finally Gets Fed Up With Danny Cipriani's Womanizing Ways And Shows Him The Effen Door

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 20 June 2010

image for Kelly Brook Finally Gets Fed Up With Danny Cipriani's Womanizing Ways And Shows Him The Effen Door
Part of the $44 million [£29.7 GBP] that Simon Cowell Received for appearing on American Idol.

LONDON - Kelly Brook, model, actress, television presenter, and fox hunt organizer, revealed to her hair stylist that she has had it with boyfriend Danny Cipriani's womanizing ways.

Thirty year old Brook said that she has never been with a man who is constantly looking around and making eye contact with pretty girls.

She added that Danny is just nothing more than an immature 22-year-old rugby playing little boy, who looks at women as things to be taken, used, and dumped like yesterday's Manchester Morning Manc Newspaper or The Liverpool Scouser Gazette.

Kelly said that she put up with him seeing actresses Jessica Lowndes, Jasmine Waltz, and Sandra Bullock, but when she found out that he was trying to hit on Miley Cyrus she exploded and told him that it was over and that he would never again get anywhere near her crotch cookie much less (blank) it.

She said that her London Wasps rugby boyfriend who plays fly-half just laughed and told her that her crotch cookie was his and no one else would want it because of the certain secret that he and only he knows about it.

Kelly told him that if he dared reveal that personal secret she would call up a reporter for The London Hand Held Daily Mirror and show him the photos she took of him dressed up in one of her pink bikini swimsuits and acting like he was Elton John, Boy George, and George Michael all rolled into one.

She stated that Danny told her that he would tell the press that the photos were photo shopped and that she had merely added the pink swimsuit in.

Kelly reminded him that when she took the pictures he was as drunk as a skunk and that her maid, her gardener, and her cook had all seen him wearing her pink bikini swimsuit.

Brook has appeared in the dance reality show Strictly Come Dancing along with SCD specials, Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special, Strictly Come Dancing Valentine's Day Special, and Strictly Come Dancing Camilla Parker Bowles Special.

Kelly did say that she recently received a text message from Simon Cowell wanting to meet with her to discuss the possibility of the two flying over to South Africa and watching the British team play Slovenia in Nelson Mandela Bay - Port Elizabeth's Happy Hippo Stadium.

In a related story. Simon Cowell's fiancee Mezhgan Hussiany is reportedly highly upset with him due to the fact that he keeps referring to her as my cute little Afghani Freedom Fighter.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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